been gone like the bullet in a gun.

i feel so deceitful for not posting anything for a along time.

back then

Much has changed since then,
back then, amidst all that happens in a day, you were still the most certain.
and of all the problems that comes our way, we could solve any problem.

Now, lost and in regret, of what was done and how it became.
if only I knew what I did wrong, of the many things I could have done.

I know the rule, nobodys really perfect, but I guess right now, I hope I could have been an exception. so things that could have been. things I still wish were true. the hopes and dreams as you said. “are for me and you”.

and now it seems, we hang by thread. despite this uncertainty, I’m still quite happy.
but distant goodbyes will always linger.

for there might be a day.

you might say.

“I will love you Never”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*written with a broken but hopeful heart*

bleh

signing off for a while.

Questions

i went outside the country and tried to find some answers to my questions these days. now that im back, it made it more harder to answer those questions.

maybe now, maybe later. i don’t know.

questions are hard. i hope the choices includes “D. It is written”.

Crying

this week has been a sort of painful to unbearable setting.

decisions are hard.

but decisions, they may be many, have only two choices.

we either choose to be selfish or not.

i’ve never been selfish but time makes me think that why not if i become selfish just a single decision?

i guess, i have to battle it out. it’s hard.

getting loved and getting unloved. seems like a hard choice but im willing to take it.

i say im preparing to be prepared to try to be strong in letting go.

………..

they say, real men don’t cry, but real men say, we cry louder.

am i thinking too much lately?

finally, i have taken all my exams. probably all the students in the philippines have finished taking their, often times, painful examinations. some are having a break by going out with their friends and some are just drooling over their notes to start studying again.

been very busy these past several days. studying law is not an easy way. you have to be physically and mentally strong. it is something that you pay for being ambitious. too bad i am an ambitious person.

studying almost 24 hours a day, glued to my laptop 18 hours a day (reading cases), and worrying every minute of it is not an exciting way to spend the 5 years of your life but i have to.

okay, in between breaks of my study-life, i watch films that i think are worthwhile. i love films and i myself is a frustrated film critic. these are the films i have watched:

1. Crossing – a korean film. it is a story of a north korean man who forced himself to leave north korea to be able to save his illing wife and eventually emancipate his wife and son and live in south korea. the struggle to have this end is so intense that everything became so complicated. “watching this film made me cry so hard that the next day my classmate was asking me why my eyes looked so stressed”. i love the film. MAKES ME WANNA HATE COMMUNISM AT ITS ABSOLUTE AND MAXIMUM POINT!!

2. Slumdog Millionaire - no wonder why people loved it. i must admit, no movie goer will ever think that this film is not great. it’s the greatest. it will let you laugh so hard and will also tear your heart apart and ofcourse give you the hope more than Obama can give. this movie is about a young man who won 20,000,000 rupees in the Indian version of “who wants to be a millionaire” but the host of the show doubted if he really knew the answers and accused the the actor of cheating. the story revolves around the life of this young man Jamal and how every question in the game show is related to his life. IT IS SIMPLY AMAZING. YOU’LL LOVE EVERY PART OF IT..EVEN THE DANCING AT THE END!

3. The Curious Case of Bejamin Button – another mind exploding film. the director of this film is a god. david flincher. the story is about benjamin, born with a very wierd disease. i dont know if it is a disease but he was born very old–equivalent to a 100 year old man. but as time goes by he becomes younger. his growth is reversed. if you have watched forrest gump, this movie is so like it. it revolves around the life of benjamin–how he lived his life. the movie teaches us how to value time and that nothing lasts forever whether you are growing old or getting younger everyday. the film didn’t make me cry compare to the previous two movies but it made me think and ponder the idea of life.

okay, you might be thinking that i’m having the time of my life because i get to watch this beautiful films. well, you got it wrong. while i was watching this films in our TV room, i was reading my books and even writing. i do multi-tasking when im watching films. that’s how my brain works.

and oh, last saturday my classmates and i went to the  movie house (after our exam) and watched “love me again” by piolo and angel locsin. the movie sucked–even the kissing scene. i guess filipino mainstream movies should be reformed THOROUGHLY.

so far, so good. im doing great both in my academics and my life. though im predicting that i’ll become loveless this year for being neglected but i’m still happy.

and oh (again), my bro and i never really did not see each other or talked for almost two weeks because our schedules seem to be very incompatible. last night while watching(benjamin button) and studying he went inside the TV room to join me and said … “oh i miss you bro”. he said that in a very brotherly manner…and i laughed loud saying he is corny and he also laughed why he said that but trully we miss each other. we are best friends.. hahaha! my corniness won’t give me anything. hehe.

next week will be lecture days, no more exams but recitations time. still a lot of things to do.

I’M GETTING OLD BUT IM HAPPY.

happy lunar new year to my online friends: beto, rin, molori, dup, peech, and rex. you guys are the best!

Yes We Can!

Yes we can!

Can a black american beat a powerful, intelliegnt and charismatic white american for the U.S. Presidency? Many would automatically conclude that “No”, no black american can ever do that. BUT Barack Obama proved everyone to be wrong…and proved that “Yes We Can!”.

Yesterday was U.S. historic day. Inaugurating their first-ever African American President. It proved that U.S. is the land of the free and equality–where everyone has his full pontential regardless of race, religion and gender.

Barack Obama is a very charismatic and eloquent man. He has become a symbol of Hope and a solution to fear. I hope that his term be characterized by progress and prosperity.

Being Spiritual–not Religious.

Humans as we are now .. we think we’re the reality but we’re not….
it is so hard for us humans to be awakened, because of the powerful forces of evil in this planet we call earth, The ego of the unconscious mind ruled most of us.

I mean , honestly speaking, realizing that, we do have souls.. and this  physical body & the world we live is an illusion that we thought its the reality, but not.., where the reality is our souls that  have eternal life given by God and there is far more wider universal world that we can exist and live after this life, and not this physical form,which has limitations. the reality is our consciousness, not our mind. not in this form..

We just cant accept the fact that we cant let go of certain things, material things , because I,myself even can’t let go of my ego that easily,   we’ve been blinded for so long. That our most highest divine been kept with in ourselves.

I myself, .. my ego speaks,.. that it is crazy to believe in this. well not for long,  ill shut down my ego from now on, and spread the truth and love to everyone who read this blog.

because without this ego, we will not urge and be above of everyone, no one will be higher or lower level of well being, we are all the same. …

Its funny, because we consider our ego as part of us as we live,again its the ego, that make us suffer in our life time , afraid to grow old,  we cant let go of certain things , then we became emotional , we struggle for fame/money/love ones.. its the ego speak not your soul, yo are controlled.

I , myself afraid of changes,Because my ego says, it is Cheesy to follow or to believe this things, which is a false and our ego is the negative part of ourselves that mostly controls or the voice in our head . I myself says… I just cant follow it..when you are awakened,, you say!  I must.(control my emotions) . for its the truth! that we have eternal Life within this body which is our consciousness or what we call soul,

truth and the reality

we are souls created as one, we are connected like spider web strings to each other, we are part of the universe, as souls we have light in each and everyone of us, that is why there is karma, that is why when you hate someone there is also part of yourself you hate, whatever you do comes back to you 3 Fold- 3 times. that’s what they say, and its true, to Grow Life here on earth  and experience for the  growth of our souls… a Big downfall equals a big learning advantage …an Evolving soul.

Yes, been reading and watching some teachings lately from  spiritual teachers, Remeber the bible where revelation was written, it will happen, very soon…  we should pray and i hope everyone will be awaken, so the suffering will end, and will open new beginnings and doors to all of us

The Universe is limitless, so there are also far more advance beings  living outside the planet earth, who also our brothers, because they are part of the creation of God ofcourse.  far more advance, than humanity, where not the only physical eyes they have but also spiritual eyes. are all well developed,

Science in this earth is limited, where Science is far more wider than we thought, science also includes spirituality , than this plain 3d dimensional physical forms

We’ve been slave for so long, we thought its a perfect world,… were wrong

… after reading this…

your Mind will say, its pretty deep, weird,.. yea I already know this.. but sitll you let yourself be in a state of not awakened .

Peace and Love

ranting.

after reading an entire 556 page book about international human rights law, researching about 20 international cases from the ICJ and 4 days of relentless sleepless nights…the examination day came.

guess what is the question?

the exam comprised of only 4 questions…meaning–if you make one mistake, you are doomed.

im not confident at all about my answers…

life is hard. but exams are harder!

The Christian Lord of the Rings

As much as im amazed by the twisted genius of tolkein, it really displays a very Christian form of Hope, Mercy and such.

Such a distinctively Christian hope is not an explicit part of the Lord of the Rings, yet all members of the Fellowship of the Ring stake their lives on a future realization of the Good beyond the bounds of the world. Their devotion to their quest does not depend upon any sort of certainty concerning its success. They are called to be faithful rather than victorious. Often the fellowship finds its profoundest hope when the prospects seem bleakest. this hope manifests well within tolkeins vast universe, adversity strenghtens the faith of the fellowship.

Christian Mercy is well manifested. this act is in Frodo towards Gollum and as well as Gandalfs philosophy on forgiveness.

“Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.”

For Tolkien the Christian. by contrast, love understood as mercy and pity is essential:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. . . . For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?” (Matt.5:43-44,46).

Even on Sarumans Controverstial Trial, Gandalfs imparted wisdom has been inherited by Frodo, in which he deals Saruman with mercy.

“No, Sam!” said Frodo, “Do not kill him even now. For
he has not hurt me, And in any case I do not wish him to be slain in
this evil mood. He was great once, of a noble kind that we should not
dare to raise our hands against. He is fallen, and his cure is beyond
us; but I would still spare him, in the hope that he may find it.”

Tolkien captures the transcendent, even divine quality of real love by having it issue in a pity and pardon utterly unknown either to the warrior cultures of the ancient world or to our own equally merciless culture of competition.